Woster: Grandson salves a mother’s grief

| Tuesday, March 14, 2006

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Anniversaries don’t come much tougher than this.

Six years ago today, Dottie Poage’s only son, Chester, was murdered in a creek bed near Spearfish, the victim of a ruthless act of criminal depravity that sent two young men to death row and another to prison for life.

It also sent his mother on into the rest of her life with an emptiness — profound and constant as her own heartbeat — that she knows will never leave. She’ll feel that empty ache today, as she heads into another week of work shuffling packages at the Nash Finch warehouse here in Rapid City.

But she’ll feel something else, as well — hope, and more than a little joy. That’s because there’s another young man in Dottie Poage’s life these days. His name is Riley Kyian.

Dottie Poage became a grandmother Friday, when her only daughter, Samantha, gave birth to a healthy, 7-pound, 2-ounce baby boy.

And, oh my, can this little guy bring light to a grandma’s world, even on a day darkened by loss.

“When Samantha first found out she was pregnant and due in the middle of March, she said, ‘I think I was supposed to be pregnant and due this time of year for a reason,’” Dottie Poage said Sunday. “And I think she was right. I’ve got the best of both worlds. I’ve got my daughter with me, and I get to see my grandson 24 hours a day.”

That doesn’t mean she’ll forget Chester on this day, or any other. He is never far from his mother’s heart or mind. But she will try to separate the best memories of his life from the awful details of his death.

“You know, he was such a caring person, the kind of boy who would hurry to open a door for elderly people. He would be so polite,” she said. “Now, when I see someone do that today, do some act of kindness, I think of Chester, and I smile.”

Chester Allen Poage was just 19 when he died. He was a quiet young man with a quirky sense of humor, a love for fishing and rollerblading, a gift for woodworking and serious inclinations toward a career in telecommunications.

Chester also loved to visit his grandparents, Jim and Jerri Hutchens, in Norton, Kansas, while he was attending Goodland Technical School about an hour and a half away.

“Every Friday when he got out of school, he’d drive to Norton and stay the weekend with his grandpa and grandma,” Dottie said. “He always went to church with them on Sunday morning, before he went back to school. Chester was a Christian.”

Chester also was a movie buff, especially in his younger years. And he often did what other boys might have found unthinkable: He took his mom along.

“He always liked doing stuff with family,” Dottie said. “He’d always ask me if I wanted to go to the movies with him. So we’d go. And it always made me feel so good that he wanted me along.”

Chester was taking a break from his studies in Kansas and living with his mother and sister in Spearfish when he was murdered.

“He had about a semester left. He was just taking kind of a vacation up there with us,” Dottie said. “He would have graduated that fall. I think about that and try to imagine what he would have done with his life.”

Dottie was understandably lost for some time after her son’s death as the investigation and criminal proceedings made headlines and the loss made it hard to focus on life.

“I didn’t work for a year after Chester died,” she said. “I had been in banking for 25 years, and I needed a change. I needed a job with physical stress, rather than mental stress.”

She found that job at Nash Finch. She also moved to Rapid City, where she and Samantha share a house and a focused commitment to the future. Young Riley will help a lot with that, as his grandma learns to live in a world without her son.

“I didn’t get to see Chester married. I didn’t get to see him have children. I’m missing so much,” she said. “But I got to have him for 19-1/2 years. I’m thankful for that. I was brought up by my mom and dad to look for something good in tough times.”

Today will be a reminder of the toughest of times. But Dottie Poage won’t have to look far to find the good in her life.

Her grandson — a new life full of hope and potential — will be right there in her arms.

Contact Kevin Woster at 394-8413 or kevin.woster@rapidcityjournal.com