Some local parents believe in use of courtesy titles

By Lynn Taylor Rick, Journal Staff Writer | Tuesday, January 02, 2007

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RAPID CITY — As a young girl growing up in Texas, Jo Roebuck Pearson would not have considered addressing an adult by his first name.

“My parents would not allow us to, even when the adult told us to use their first name,” she said.

The Rapid City businesswoman believes the courtesy rules set down by her parents were exactly as they should be. She established the same guidelines for her own daughter, who was taught from a young age to use courtesy titles when addressing all adults.

Pearson, who began teaching an etiquette class at St. Thomas More 10 years ago, feels a bit sad that children aren’t being taught the same etiquette rules today, mainly because it gives them the tools to help them function in society.

“It’s just one more little lesson that makes their life easier,” she said.

Pearson said children benefit by knowing that they are not on the same level as the adults around them. It establishes the hierarchy.

But learning the formal titles will benefit them in business and adulthood as well. “This is all about being kind. … Etiquette is about being kind. It’s not about being stuffy,” she said.

Steve and Lynn Eckrich of Rapid City also grew up in families where courtesy titles were required. They decided to do the same with their own children, although they have adapted the rules to fit their lives.

If an adult asks their children to address them by first name, then the Eckrichs encourage their kids to do that.

Lynn Eckrich also is comfortable with her children’s friends and children close to the family addressing her by first name, if that is how they were taught.

When it comes to courtesy titles, Lynn Eckrich understands that in general, society has become more casual. And that is fine. But when it comes to her children, Lynn Eckrich said she feels most comfortable teaching them to show their respect by addressing adults with titles.

“I always think it’s better to error on the side of politeness,” she said.

Contact Lynn Taylor Rick at lynn.taylorrick@rapidcityjournal.com or 394-8414.