Kelly Marker: Healthful lifestyle changes result in friendlier mom

| Tuesday, January 23, 2007

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In her book “If Life is a Bowl of Cherries — What Am I Doing in the Pits?” Erma Bombeck ponders:

“Would they (her kids) remember a mother who took knots out of shoestrings with her teeth that they had wet on all day long? Or would they only remember the day she acted like a crazy lady out of control when they ate a hole in the gelatin mold she was saving for her Amway party?”

By the end of 2006, I was tired of being tired. Restless sleep, long days and full weekends were taking a toll on my health, sanity and family life.

I began to share Erma’s concern. Would my kids remember me as constantly exhausted, short-tempered and too serious? Honestly, at the pace I was going, I was afraid they would remember me as an angry lioness in constant search of prey.

I realized that I needed to make some significant adjustments. Everyone is different, but for me, this looked like rearranging my priorities so I would feel better rested and have more energy.

In short, I needed to take care of myself. I know myself well enough to know that when I feel better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I can respond more positively to my family and others around me.

Since the start of the new year, I have designed a different routine that, for now, is a good fit for what I want to accomplish. With some creative juggling and help from my family, I now exercise regularly, have extra girlfriend time, more flexible work hours, and a more relaxing bedtime ritual.

I have also instituted purposeful “down time” in the form of a pajama day. This is a day when I stay in my pajamas and do things around the house that nourish my soul, such as cooking a delicious meal, reading the newspaper or a good book, watching a movie and eating popcorn, playing with the dogs, doing puzzles or playing games with the kids, napping, etc.

I made these changes with the intent to become a more relaxed and friendlier mom. (You will note: I did not relax household rules or behavioral expectations for my children).

To my delight, none of these changes cost me any money. They have, however, taken me in the direction of my goals — increased quality and quantity of time with my family, and better nourishment of my body, mind and soul.

Thanks to these changes, I’m handling pressure more thoughtfully and gracefully, and I am feeling better able to guide my children on their journeys. Not only do I feel healthier, I’m actually enjoying these new habits.

I am confident that my new lifestyle will go a long way toward helping my children remember me as a firm, patient and gentle mother rather than a hungry lioness in search of prey.

Kelly Marker lives in Rapid City and is dedicated to providing practical, effective and loving responses to the challenges of parenting. For information or to share a story, Marker may be contacted at 381-4608 or kelly@parentingwithease.com.