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The Fives: Biker bands that are bad and simply bad biker bands

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The original Sturgis rally was founded on a dedicated core of motorcycle enthusiasts and a series of races held each August. And while the races remain, today's event would barely be recognizable to the likes of Pappy Hoel.

Today, it's the entertainment that brings in the crowds (that, and the promises of hundreds of thousands of bikers and miles of scenic rides). Over the years, there have been a number of bands that have been branded with the biker scene.

Some are bad. And by bad, I mean bad as a band with an attitude appropriate for a gathering of leatherclad bikers fueled by a bit of beer and the promise of good times.

And some are terrible, as in no good, God awful posers whose mere presence makes one think twice about the state of music, much less the state of Western Civilization.

Here's a short list of bands that have in one way or another made their name or have had their name attached to the biker culture celebrated at Sturgis annually.

Steppenwolf

The band that helped coin the term "heavy metal" (headbangers, stop your snickering) is always there when the banter turns toward best biker bands.

Much of that is because of Steppenwolf's appearance on the soundtrack of "Easy Rider." In particular, it's the appearance of the greatest biker anthem of all-time, "Born to Be Wild," which accompanied the beginning of Billy and Captain America's journey eastward across the American south.

Originally named the Sparrows, the group changed its name to mirror the name of the Herman Hess novel and their career took off. Over its career, Steppenwolf has sold more than 25 million units, including eight gold albums and three top 10 singles.

The band and its leader, John Kay, made repeated visits to the Sturgis rally over the years and became a fixture of the biker scene here. But for those looking for the band in this year's concert lineups throughout Sturgis and the surrounding campgrounds, be prepared to be disappointed. The German-born Canadian national Kay, who is now 64 years old, called it quits last October with a farewell concert in Aberdeen, Maryland.

But hey, if KISS and The Eagles are examples, expect to see Kay and company in a few more farewell appearances in the near future.

ZZ Top

The Texas trio not only play the part, they look the part. With their grizzled beards and ever present sunglasses, it isn't hard to imagine rolling into Sturgis aboard a Harley and drawing nary a second look.

Of course, considering the band's unusual longevity, massive touring profits and the members' penchant for standing out in a crowd, one would suspect they might ride in on a custom chopper that would draw a few glances.

And then there's a music, the kind of blues-rock hybrid (with the all the 80s weirdness aside) that has been popular with fans spanning the generations, which, at the rally, often means those from age 40 to age 90.

Kid Rock

Now talk about looking the part.

Perhaps no present day artist better represents the biker ethic than Kid Rock.

However, his path to biker music immortality didn't take the usual path, as his early musical leanings were far closer to Eminem than they were to than the Southern rock and white trash country leanings that have lifted him to continued success.

So when the former Robert James Richie takes the stage in front of tens of thousands leatherclad fans aboard cranked up Harleys, he's far more likely to break into the Lynyrd Skynyrd-esque (say that three times fast) "All Summer Long" than "Bawitdaba."

And a legion of rally music fans thank him for the fact.

The Rolling Stones

No, they have never played the rally. And no, they never will.

And perhaps their industry cousins The Who were more closely tied to biker culture in their home country of England than the Stones (thanks, in large part, to Pete Townsend's rock opera "Quadrophenia"), but a single concert in the Stones' seemingly endless series of tours will forever link them to biker culture.

The Altamont Speedway Free Festival held in December of 1969 had plenty of big name acts, including Santana, Jefferson Airplane and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. But the biggest name was the Rolling Stones.

A logistical disaster, security of the event was handed over to members of the Hells Angels for $500 worth of beer. Mayhem ensued. Many spectators were roughed up. The biker gang security forces used sawed-off pool cues to repel the crowd and struck troublemakers with their bikes to subdue (and seriously injure) anyone who got out of line.

The crescendo of violence culminated in the death of 18-year-old Meredith Hunter, who drew a revolver and was moving toward the stage when he was stabbed multiple times by Hells Angel member Alan Passaro. As he fell to the ground, Hells Angels members kicked him to death.

All of this was captured by camera crews filming the concert for the film "Gimme Shelter," which hoped to capture the event as a sort of Woodstock of the West. The biker who stabbed Hunter was eventually acquitted on grounds of self-defense, as Hunter had a gun drawn and may have been headed for the stage.

Perhaps the most fascinating development of Altamont, though, came after the stabbing when Stones' guitarist decided to the leave the stage. Richards said he was blocked from leaving the stage by Hells Angels founder Sonny Barger, who allegedly held a gun to his side and told him to keep playing or "you're dead."

Richards complied, and the Stones continue to play to date.

Perhaps they took Barger's order a bit to literally.

Randall Zwarte Band (nee Zwarte)

Let me keep this brief. I've never been a Zwarte fan, to say the least.

But that doesn't mean they aren't popular, especially among the biker crowd. And they, too, are best known among the Sturgis crowds for one reason in particular - the rally battle cry, "Sturgis."

That, and they we standard bearers of the Sturgis rally music scene in the years that the rally saw its most phenomenal growth through the early to mid 1990s and beyond.

The only question I have is: Are they playing the rally this year? Where are you, Zwarte? Where are you?

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