When Fran Eichinger's 89-year-old mother suffered from inflammation of the feet shortly after her gallbladder surgery, Eichinger realized her mother needed extra help.

That's when she called one of the local in-home care programs, Comfort Keepers.

Today, Pauline Stoffel of Comfort Keepers visits Eichinger's mother, Sylvia, each week. Sometimes the two go grocery shopping. Other times, they clean the house together. Whatever the need is, Stoffel helps out.

"It helps her maintain her independence, and I think that is very important for her and it helps her maintain her health," Eichinger said of her mother.

Though Eichinger's mother initially rejected the idea of help, she's since changed her mind. "She was very much against it. She didn't think she needed it. … Now, she loves Pauline. Pauline is a godsend," Eichinger said.

After the holidays, Comfort Keeper owner Lezlie Snoozy-Kaitfors will see an upswing of calls from people just like Eichinger.

The company provides nonmedical in-home companionship and help for those in need, frequently the elderly. The help can include housecleaning, cooking, medication management or simply providing companionship.

Although Eichinger's situation is a bit different, Snoozy-Kaitfors said many of the January calls will be from adult children who didn't realize that their elderly parents needed help until they visited during the holidays.

Snoozy-Kaitfors said the holidays are frequently a wake-up call for them.

"Families come home (for the holidays), and all of the sudden they realize what's been happening," she said.

They might notice that their parents' once-spotless house is dirty. Or that a parent is growing thinner, possibly because of an inability to sufficiently cook meals.

Elderly parents often don't realize the needs themselves or try to downplay them to their children, Snoozy-Kaitfors said.

"There's a fear of admitting that they are declining," she said. "They're trying to protect their independence, so they tend not to admit those things."

Marcia Mayer, coordinator of the Meals Program, sees the same thing with her program.

"A lot of parents are in denial," she said. "A lot of times, the parent is not going to admit that they need help. They won't."

Mayer said elderly people, especially those who grew up during the Depression, find it difficult to accept help. They also have the misconception that the Meals Program is a "handout â- and it's not," Mayer said. Instead, the Meals Program serves clients on a donation basis.

Both women recommend that adult children take notice during visits with their elderly parents. Look for signs that they may need a little extra help. (See list.)

It's also important to explain to their elderly parents that with a little extra help here and there, they will be able to remain independent longer.

"Establish that you aren't taking their independence. This will continue their independence," Snoozy-Kaitfors said.

While Sylvia could always call her three children for help, Eichinger is relieved to know that there is another person available in the support network. It lessens her worries about her mother and has given her mother a way to continue living in her own home.

"It took a lot off our mind. â- We just felt so much better having someone come in and check on her," she said. "That's really crucial for her to be able to continue her independence."

Ten signs your parent may need help

During the holidays, many adult children visit their elderly parents. It's often during the visit that they first notice signs that their parent needs some help. Below are some clear warning signs that intervention is needed.

1. Mail and bills are left to pile up. The simple act of opening and filing mail becomes overwhelming. Managing a checking account also can become too much for a parent to handle.

2. The house is cluttered or unkempt. This is especially troubling if a parent has always been neat and orderly.

3. Food in the refrigerator is uneaten or spoiled. Shopping, cooking and cleaning become too much trouble. A parent might eat just enough to get by, but suffer nutritionally. Losing weight can be another sign that a parent is not eating a nutritious diet.

4. There are signs of scorching on the bottoms of pots and pans. A result of short-term memory loss, this is a dangerous sign that parents are forgetting about pots left on the stove, causing a fire hazard and threatening both the individual's and the surrounding neighbors' safety.

5. The parent wears the same clothing over and over again and has other personal hygiene issues. Doing laundry has become physically challenging, particularly if the washing machine is in the basement. Or there may be a fear of falling in the tub or shower.

6. Doctor's appointments are missed. Sometimes this is simply a product of not having transportation and not knowing how to access ride options.

7. The parent makes repeated phone calls at odd hours. When a parent telephones friends or family at odd hours, it may be a sign of memory loss or a cry for help -- a sign of depression or isolation. Arranging for a daily check-in phone call, a regular volunteer visitor or getting involved with a local senior center could make all the difference.

8. The parent forgets to take medication. A sign of short-term memory loss or depression, this isn't just a quality-of-life issue but a real risk factor.

9. The parent shows inappropriate behavior, clothing or speech. You may hear about this from a neighbor, someone who has noticed that your parent is not dressing appropriately for the weather, for instance. That's a sign that he or she might be confused.

10. The parent shows symptoms of depression. A frequent problem for many older people who feel isolated and alone, like a prisoner in their own homes, depression causes marked changes in behavior and routine. Feelings of hopelessness or despair, lack of interest in once pleasurable activities, crying, listlessness and not wanting to get dressed can all be indications of a problem.

Source: Senior Citizen's Guide, a resource guide and directory

Contact Lynn Taylor Rick at lynn.taylorrick@rapidcityjournal.com