Viral videos are to entertainment what cheese puffs are to one's daily culinary adventure.
In many ways, they have limited value, but given the right circumstance, they are spectacularly entertaining. The fact that millions upon millions are e-mailed, gossiped about, downloaded and written about in silly blogs and neo-news articles such as this is simply evidence that the cultural trend - much like this whole Internet thing - doesn't seem to be slowing much.
As for the right circumstance, it appears that would be work. Oh, I'm sure there are plenty of unemployed, self-employed or independently wealth folk who regularly scan the Web for videos of cats playing the piano or masses of prisoners dancing to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" or some other such nonsense. And I'm sure that if they have no job and are sharing such visual delights, they certainly have time to share it with their Web friends.
Yet, for sheer curiosity, not much can compete for heightening anticipation to watching an Internet video than to see someone sitting alone in their cubicle in a) utter amazement, proclaiming to anyone within earshot, "You've got to see this!" or b) quietly giggling to themselves, smirking and chuckling until you simply have to ask them what they are laughing about.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for viral videos, which, by definition, are videos that are widely popular and circulated among a large group - and by large, we mean millions - of people. Heck, without them, I would be missing out on proper accoutrements to dress up this column.
But I am continually amazed at how little it takes for me to be entertained. I, by rule, won't watch reality television (albeit, American Idol has been a family tradition ever since Season One). But send me an e-mail with the video of some crazy folks with large amounts of fireworks attached to sledgehammers smashing them against the ground, I'm enthralled.
Anyway, today, let's focus on five of the more popular videos sent over the past five or six years.
May the Farce be with you (2002-2003)
This short video of what appears to be a potentially socially awkward kid getting his Jedi on in front of a camera is the granddaddy of all viral videos. No special effects. No plot line. No real redeeming social value.
Just a somewhat pudgy teenage boy getting his geek on.
There's a lot of Internet traffic about this video, largely because it was seen by so many people and it has been around so long. If you believe everything you read on the Internet (and if you do, I need to meet you and do a case profile), the star of this little flick was apparently so distraught that he filed suit against his classmates claiming that they had ruined his life for distributing it en masse.
Uh …. jars of clay, my friend; jars of clay.
Don't Tase Me Bro (2004)
You know, I never watched the full video of this college student disrupting a John Kerry speech during the 2004 presidential election. Heck, I didn't have to. It was on every major network and lampooned widely for months thereafter.
But after sitting through the unedited version, I've come to one conclusion. If I had been at this lecture, would have, at great risk to my own public safety, grabbed the Taser gun and shot him myself.
I mean, really, have some dignity, kid. I haven't heard crying like that since I visited my daughter during First Grade recess a few years back.
Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question (2007)
Some of the best viral videos are direct recording of television shows that we might have missed. And when it comes to the Miss Teen USA contest, I'm always going to "might miss" that when it airs.
That being said, I would have paid full admission to have watched it live a few years back when it rose to mythic levels after Miss Teen South Carolina gave the greatest answer to any scholarship pageant question ever given.
Her answer defies description, both figuratively and literally. This clip inspired endless parodies, multiple morning television appearances and well more than the 15 minutes of fame had she given an answer that would have been sufficient or even landed her the Miss Teen USA title.
If by some freak accident you haven't yet seen it or even know what I'm talking about, you simply must watch. When it comes to viral video, this is perhaps the best ever.
Train Vs. Tornado, Train Loses! (2009)
The most recent on this short all-star list of viral videos, this one has been making the rounds the past week or so. It falls into that category of reality TV, but think more The Weather Channel than Big Brother or The Real World.
A train traveling through Illinois takes the brunt of a full force tornado. No dialogue. No people. Little sound. Just hundreds of tons of steel vs. one of nature's fiercest phenomena. At least that's how they pitch it on the YouTube video.
Susan Boyle (2009)
No viral video would be complete without that of Susan Boyle's initial performance on "Britain's Got Talent." The less-than-glamorous singer wowed the panel of judges with her rendition of "I Dreamed A Dream" and went on to the finals of the popular TV show.
The video of the performance was watched nearly 300 million times, a number so staggering that industry analysts couldn't conceive of such a thing happening until, well, it did.
And while she didn't win, her fame far surpassed any of the other performers on the show, launching her from complete anonymity into a global sensation. Of course, it caused her to suffer a near nervous breakdown and brought on heaps of criticism for everything to her willingness to grant interviews to her demeanor during the stressful final week of the competition.
That being said, the 48-year-old Boyle won't likely want for the rest of her life. She recently recorded her first tracks for a new album, and the demand for celebrity appearances is remarkably high.
Posted in Local on Monday, July 13, 2009 11:00 pm | Tags: 07-14-09, The Fives, Local Column, Viral Videos
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